Stop Doing These 3 Things and Start Living the Life You Want
I spend a lot of time reading through other blogs, and social networking posts in general. 99% of the time, people list external problems as their primary reason for not living the life they dream about.
Financial difficulties, social problems, physicality, and a host of other external problems are the most common complaints shared. It’s hard to admit this but here goes — I am guilty of doing the same thing.
Whenever I see someone else living ‘the dream’, my go-to reaction is to run over all the circumstances preventing me from living a better life. This is ludicrous. It’s a defense mechanism and comfort zone people like us enter to shield ourselves from the truth. The real reason why we aren’t living the life we want is because of self-sabotage.
Think about it.
Most external circumstances can be fixed. A lack of finances can be fixed with a job or a side hustle. Physical issues like being overweight can be changed through diet and exercise. Almost anything external can be resolved or worked around. Instead of finding a solution, we sabotage ourselves by throwing more vices and problems into the equation.
The good news is that you can change right now and start seeing results in a very short space of time.
1. Stop over-analyzing things
One of the easiest things to do is over-analyze a situation until you reach the point of saying, “Screw it, I’m done!” I’ve given up many ideas and projects because I overwhelmed myself with unnecessary thoughts on how incredibly impossible it seems.
Perhaps a lazy brain has nothing better to do than work hard at preventing you from actually working. Whatever it may be, the only way to actually do things that matter is by cutting down the amount of time you spend thinking about it and increasing the amount of action you take. Am I wrong in saying that something is impossible unless you try doing it? I don’t think so. You could start your own business today if you wanted.
The process seems brutal and unbelievable but when you actually start doing things and striking it off a to-do list, suddenly something like starting up a business doesn’t seem as brutal as it’s made out to be.
Convert your thoughts onto paper, especially the fearful, anxious, and scary thoughts. Some may think this is counter-intuitive but when you see how ridiculous your over-analyzed thoughts can be, it will change your whole perspective on what’s impossible and what’s real.
2. Stop taking unnecessary giant leaps
I’m a firm believer in going all in and giving 110% of myself. But, this approach isn’t sustainable long term. A few years back I wanted to lose weight and my goal was 10 kg’s (about 21 pounds).
So, I fired up Google and did a search on the top 10 ways to lose weight. I came across some solid advice and completely ignored it because who wants to exercise and eat vegetables, right?
Jokes aside, I found a lemonade fast that guaranteed weight loss.
Forget doing 20 minutes of exercise and eating clean, I decided to take a giant leap by cutting out all food and just drinking this 3 ingredient lemonade until I was looking lean and mean.
Two days later I quit the lemonade diet and binged like I hadn’t eaten food for a month! The lesson here was that taking big, drastic, and extreme actions could promise big results but at a very high cost. If you fail, you could do more damage than good. Most of all, it’s not sustainable long term.
Balance is the name of the game. Take small but regular steps towards living the life you want. If you want to own a house on the beach, don’t take out a huge mortgage when you’re not even making enough money right now to live comfortably.
Instead, save money every month as a down payment for your dream house, start up a side hustle to earn more dough, and budget yourself for future success.
About a few months after that incident, I decided to try out the Paleo diet and introduce an at-home workout for 25 minutes a day. Do you know what happened? I lost 20+ kgs in the year that followed!
I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have accomplished double my goal if I stuck with the lemonade diet. If I did, I probably would have been incredibly malnourished at the end.
Small steps taken regularly is the way to go. Progressively increase your effort into bigger steps and actions as you get better at something.
3. Stop placing emphasis on doubt
Unless you’re psychic or experience premonitions, you’re wasting your time on self-doubt.
I don’t gamble with my future and I don’t take chances anymore. I work with a strategy because unlike doubtful thoughts, a plan is usually based on really solid information.
I’m not willing to bet my future happiness on what that fearful inner sabotaging voice is telling me and neither should you.
Before writing this article, I was going through other blogs in the self-development niche and reading about ways to grow a blog in general and I felt extremely demotivated at the end.
So many other huge blogs exist with over 100’s of helpful articles for readers and here I am thinking about being the biggest self-development blog on the net.
Comparing myself to other bloggers evoked a tornado of doubt in my abilities and I actually thought about quitting.
I shut my laptop down, took a stroll outside, and listened to a podcast on self-made millionaires. These guys who are successful started at the bottom. They persevered and believed in their work. They had a vision and didn’t stop, even when doubt knocked on their door. Today, they’re living the life they want.
Not because of dumb luck but because they worked through all the self-doubt.
Instead of listening to that loud voice screaming at them about failure, they paid attention to that soft voice cheering them on, reminding them of the future and life they truly want.
So what if your chances are slim? So what if you doubt it’s possible? So what if you’re only starting out now?
What matters is pushing through and believing in the vision you have for the future. Every time self-doubt creeps up, remind yourself why you’re working and why it’s important to ignore those doubtful thoughts.
Don’t feed it and don’t pay any attention to it. When that voice of doubt pops up, ignore it and work even harder. Go against your own doubtful thoughts and avoid self-sabotage.
I guarantee that when you’re sitting in that freehold beach house, with a lean and mean body, working on your successful business, you’ll be the happiest person on this planet.
Because you stopped doing the 3 things that prevented you from living the life you want and instead, you took small but strategic steps regularly, ignored the self-doubt, and stopped sabotaging yourself with excuses. You found a way around your problems and built a gorgeous epic life.