30 Bad Startup Advice for New Entrepreneurs

Startup tips you should never receive.

Photo by Per Lööv on Unsplash

I have compiled an ironic selection of startup tips, collected solely from personal experience and observations. It’s quite a little long, but it is, of course, all a joke, but there is some truth in every joke. Probably.

1. Do not answer the investor’s calls — he must think that you are very busy with the project for which he allocated money, and you are not up to idle chatter. Instead, reply to emails around midnight to make sure he thinks you’re working hard on the project.
2. Be sure to gather friends in some cafe and, as if by chance, inform them that you now have your project. Also, gather friends in the afternoon on a weekday — it will look like you have your project and broke away from work in the middle of the day to share this important information.
3. Urgently register for Product Hunt. This is necessary to know that you have decided to do a project as many people as possible.
4. If your brilliant idea goes beyond the usual genius, forget about the first three tips: no one should find out about your belief in writing — let them call or talk about it in person. Otherwise, the idea can be stolen and done without you, assigning your thought to themselves.
5. You should spend a few days…